would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
