I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
