if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
