And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize