Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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