Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
