season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
