so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
