Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
