'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
