so explain again why im purple
no
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
