I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
