as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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