There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
