He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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