We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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