High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
