My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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