She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize