Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
