I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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