I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
