I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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