It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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