I love black thongs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
