So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
