i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
is that a dick in a sweater?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
