Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
