Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
