Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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