it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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