Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
