Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
