Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
