You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize