He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize