1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm always down for nudity.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
