go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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