How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
