I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
