Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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