how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
as a side note pls kill me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize