I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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