people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
