I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
