he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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