the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
