So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
