and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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