Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
