I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
