I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
