That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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