I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize