What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
