I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
