Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
