whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
