go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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