I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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