He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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