i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
