thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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