His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
